Monday, February 08, 2010

Quote of the day

"I don’t think there is no God, I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe. I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out. So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out."
-Adam Carolla

Who are these people?

Thanks to a stop at JHH's blog, I happened across a poll of self-identified Republicans, and...wow. I'm flabbergasted. I can't believe that a quarter of our nation's population (roughly the percentage that self-identifies as Republican) holds the views expressed in this table. I'm legitimately concerned and scared that so many people think this way. How does this party have any legitimacy? Oh right, it doesn't, it just obstructs everything the opposition does.


Should Barack Obama be impeached?
32% yes, 32% no, 29% not sure

For what? You can't just impeach someone because you don't like their policies. There are clearly described crimes for which a president can be impeached, and Obama most certainly has not committed any of them. I'd love to see what the 32% who responded in the affirmative had to say on that topic. I bet they would say "treason," which is as funny as it is depressing. And who answers "not sure" to a question like this? Seems to me that if you can't think of a reason why a President should be impeached, you gotta go with "no" here.


Do you believe Barack Obama was born in the United States?
42% yes, 36% no, 22% not sure

Seriously? I wonder how many of the people who incorrectly answered "yes" would be swayed by a video of his birth.


Do you believe Barack Obama is a socialist?
63% yes, 21% no, 16% not sure

Sorry, nearly 2/3 of Republicans, but he's a Democrat, not a socialist. Good try though! I'd love to hear these people try to explain what constitutes socialism sometime. This is a classic case of just repeating what they heard on TV because it supports what they want to believe.


Do you believe Barack Obama wants the terrorists to win?
24% yes, 43% no, 33% not sure

Please read those numbers again. A quarter of Republicans think that our president wants the terrorists to "win." I'm officially incapable of ever being surprised by anything ever again after reading this. You're a fucking idiot if you answered yes to this question. I like the "not sure" option here - does this mean you're not sure as to his motives, or that you think he's not sure? Just sitting in the Oval Office flipping a coin like Two-Face; "hmm, do I want the terrorists to win or the US?" HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY BELIEVE THAT THE PRESIDENT OF THE US WANTS TERRORISTS TO WIN, WHATEVER "WIN" MEANS? HOW??????


Do you believe ACORN stole the 2008 election
21% yes, 24% no, 55% not sure

Stole it how? Let's be serious - the election wasn't really that close, and if anything, the ACORN pre-election controversy hurt the Obama campaign. No, I'm afraid you have to go back to 2000 to find yourself a stolen election.


Do you believe Sarah Palin is more qualified to be President than Barack Obama?
53% yes, 14% no, 33% not sure

The question wasn't whether you think she would be a better president or if you agree with her policies; it's whether she's more qualified. And there's no defensible way to argue that she is.


Do you believe Barack Obama is a racist who hates white people?
31% yes, 36% no, 33%

Uh-oh, things are getting a bit ugly here. Let's take another moment here to pause and take a deep breath. Almost a third of Republicans polled think that Barack Obama hates white people. This is complete insanity. Not that it bears too much on the question, but you do know he's half white, right? And even if he wasn't, there's absolutely zero evidence to support a "yes" view. Frankly, anyone who answers "yes" here is extremely likely to harbor pretty significant racist sentiments themselves.


Do you believe your state should secede from the United States?
23% yes, 58% no, 19% not sure

It makes me laugh out loud to reflect that about 1 in 5 respondents are on the fence on this issue. Make a decision! The "yes" votes remind me of Ron Burgundy reacting when Ed Harkin fires him: "this is a rash decision!" Let's think this one through, aspiring secessionists.


Should openly gay men and women be allowed to teach in public schools?
8% yes, 73% no, 19% not sure

This one makes me more angry than all the others, even the terrorist one. 3 in 4 GOP'ers favor a sort of second-class citizenry for openly gay people, and another 1 in 5 are open to the idea. Attention everyone who answered "no" here: go fuck yourself.


Should contraception use be outlawed?
31% yes, 56% no, 13%

When was this poll taken, the Middle Ages? I'm blown away that a third of Republicans apparently believe that birth control should be illegal. This demonstrates a pretty fundamental ignorance about just about everything we've seen in the developing world over the past century. I can't imagine a justification for a yes vote here, other than misinterpreting (overinterpreting?) the bible, but even then, why support bc being outlawed? Just don't use it yourself if that's how you feel, but stay out of my business. Sadly, this is typical of right-wing christian mentality, evidenced by the 31% of crazies who said yea to this one.


Do you believe the birth control pill is abortion?
34% yes, 48% no, 18% not sure

Like the Obama US birth question, this isn't even a matter of belief or opinion: the correct scientific answer is "no." After gathering responses to this question, the pollsters should have explained to everyone how the pill worked and see how many people stubbornly stuck with their yes answer. Then laughed at them.


These poll results are deeply troubling.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Quote of the day

Man shall not be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.

- Jean Meslier

Saturday, February 06, 2010

Quote of the day

"Andy, I tell people that you're the smartest person I've ever
met...but you're also about the dumbest person I've ever met."
- My Mom

Friday, February 05, 2010

Quote of the day

Chew on this one for a while:

"If you give an unguarded bone to a dog, he’ll eat the whole bag."
- Some guy I work with

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Groundhog Day

Happy Groundhog Day everyone! This is, along with International Talk Like a Pirate Day, Mol Day, and Pi Day, one of my favorite ridiculous non-holidays.

This year as much as any, I'm hoping Punxsutawney Phil doesn't see his shadow. Six more weeks of winter just doesn't seem like the move in 2010. Technically, each season lasts three months, but currently, we have an actual balance of seasons that seems more like this:

Spring: 1.5 months
Summer: 3 months
Fall: 2.5 months
Winter: 5 months

Seriously, mid-November through mid-April is pretty much winter these days. A better balance would be this:

Fall: 12 months

Alright, I'm kidding. Fall in Cleveland is great, but I like seasons. How about this?

Spring: 3 months
Summer: 3 months
Fall: 4 months
Winter: 2 months

Yeah, that's more like it. Don't let me down, Phil.

Monday, February 01, 2010

The Francis Blog on Twitter

This will help for the 30 times a day I think of quick things I want to post to TFB but forget.

Not surprisingly, I'm using thefrancisblog as my Twitter handle.

Hatey

I read with some interest the situation involving Paul Shirley, the basketball player/writer who was recently fired as a freelance contributor to espn.com after his critical comments about the response to the Haiti disaster raised a firestorm of controversy. I think that Shirley went too far at times in his criticism of the Haitian people, but at the same time think his article was thoughtfully argued and raised some important points that are often overlooked in a situation like this. Regardless, I'm much more concerned about the way espn and the blogosphere overreacted to Shirley's editorial piece. It speaks poorly to people's ability to handle opinions that differ form their own, as well as the cowardice of corporate America.

Shirley's piece raised a number of issues, including the idea that some of the blame for the incident should lie with the Haitians for mistakes they've made in their country's development and inability to exercise population control. Throughout, he recognizes that his comments may not be well-received by some, but maintains that questions should be asked about the wisdom of rebuilding areas like Haiti (and New Orleans) and the lack of thought that goes into simply throwing millions at a rebuilding effort. As I said, I think he's a bit too hard on the natives, but does put forth some interesting points. To me, this takes some courage - it's a lot easier to reflexively support a relief effort than it is to ask hard questions about the situation.

Naturally, no one bothered to read and evaluate the thesis of the piece. Nope, they went right for a hypothetical open letter he half-suggests from the rest of the world to the Haitians:

Dear Haitians –

First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded.

As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it’s possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?

Sincerely,
The Rest of the World


Is this the most diplomatic way to phrase his points? Of course not. But Haiti does have human rights, infrastructure, and population control issues that really show no signs of improvement, and it's worth the time to address them before simply rebuilding. If he'd published the entire thing but without the condom remark, Shirley probably still has a job. It's amazing and upsetting that overpopulation has such a negative effect on the developing world yet is largely closed to discussion. Again, I don't totally agree with Shirley, especially when he says he hasn't given any money - I donated to the relief through the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Science and Reason - but I totally agree that we should take a moment think about where the money goes and set some conditions for the Haitians to actually rebuild and start progressing as a nation.

Of course, I can take such a position because I actually read and thought about the article, rather than mindlessly overreacting like Ben Cohen on the Huffington Post. Cohen lobs all sorts of ad hominem attacks at Shirley, only discusses the "maybe use a condom every once in a while" part, and (of course) demands that espn fire Shirley. He goes so far as to call the article "the most offensive thing ever written," which it most certainly is not. Just absolutely preposterous hyperbole from a very poorly written and conceived piece from Cohen. Maybe that's how HuffPost works - another news article on the site describing the whole controversy had the "condom" remark and nothing else. Fair and balanced.

In my opinion, almost everything I read or hear Rush Limbaugh say is more offensive than Shirley's remarks, but I'm not about to suggest that whatever shadowy organization employs him fire him over those comments! Just because I disagree with what someone has to say doesn't mean I don't support his right to say it. Quite to the contrary. Cohen, apparently, does not share this view, and feels comfortable demanding the sacking of anyone who writes something he doesn't approve of. Cohen's self-righteous piece is truly embarrassing, but I'm certainly not about to demand his removal at the Huffington Post! I support Cohen's right to publish his opinion, just as much as I support my own right to choose never to ever read anything he writes again.

You will not be surprised to learn that espn did indeed let go of Shirley, despite the fact that his article wasn't even published on their site. They issued the following cowardly press release:

He was a part-time freelance contributor. The views he expressed on another site of course do not at all reflect our company's views on the Haiti relief efforts. He will no longer contribute to ESPN.

So you just fire anyone whose perspective doesn't reflect your company's views? Wow, such courage and integrity. It's sad that a major corporation like this has such little respect and support for their employees when something they produce sparks a little discussion and controversy. It's one thing to disagree with someone - it's another thing altogether to can someone for such a disagreement. This wasn't hate speech. It wasn't inciting violence. It didn't slander anyone. This decision by espn is a sad commentary on how corporations so often take the easy way out instead of showing some backbone - even corporations who employ Skip Bayless.

Of course, next time someone writes something on TFB that I don't agree with, he's out on the street. That's called editorial authority!

I think it's fair here to give the last word to Shirley himself.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

I got your expense report right here

For a single charge on a recent expense report, our expensing system auto-generated two separate warnings before I even had a chance to edit it:

1) "This entry must be itemized before the report can be submitted"
2) "Itemizations are required for this entry"

So, am I supposed to itemize it then?

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Evolving on evolution

As a person with a working brain, I accept fully the theory of evolution, rather than embracing silly supernatural biological "concepts" like creationism or its goofy little brother, intelligent design. Evolution is logical, self-consistent, and has withstood the most intense scientific scrutiny for 150 years, such that it enjoys universal support among the scientific community. Some argue that evolution is "only a theory" - so is gravity and the germ theory of infection. Evolution is equally well-proven and uncontroversial among those who consider the evidence for each.

Yet, not trained in biology, I wasn't especially up on the details, so I thought I'd read the two books most opposite on the timeline of evolutionary publication: Charles Darwin's original Origin of Species and Richard Dawkins' brand-new The Greatest Show on Earth. Needless to say, I haven't switched teams, and I won't be apologizing to Ben Stein any time soon. It's possible that some might label my approach to the subject as close-minded, but if taking the side of an absolute landslide of facts and evidence rigorously proven over 150 years over an absurd book of ancient myths is close-minded, then I guess you're right.


First Darwin, the English naturalist whose insights after years of dedicated study of plants and animals led him to develop the brilliant theory of evolution by natural selection. Darwin waited some 20 years after first formulating the idea to publish, finally spurred on by the similar discoveries of naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace. Darwin ultimately receives more credit today both because he did indeed have priority to the claim, and because Wallace incorrectly held humankind as separate from the theory.

Anyway, Origin of Species is both really brilliant and interesting, and really long and boring. Its chief problem is that it was written in the mid-19th century, when authors primarily wrote with a style that Dave Barry has comically dubbed "the boring method." There's no getting around this - it's excessively dull and dry. Darwin supports his points with all sorts of examples of animals no one's ever heard of, going on and on while simultaneously (and ironically) apologizing for being so brief. Where modern science writers footnote references for the sake of brevity and clarity, Darwin just includes them in the text. There is precisely one figure among 375 pages of text. I don't fault him for the book's structure, because that's how such works were published back then, but that's the reality facing the 21st-century reader.

On the other hand, Darwin does use his vast array of examples to support a diverse array of points, and even if he didn't get everything exactly right, one realizes the remarkable foresight and accuracy of his deductions, and the lengths to which he goes to support and develop them. The breadth of his knowledge of the animal and plant kingdoms is startling. There's almost nothing in the text that he doesn't claim to have performed experiments to observe, which is funny after a while because whenever he's developing a point you know it's coming: "In my own experiments..."

Next to the ideas themselves, the really remarkable thing about Origin of Species is how deftly Darwin anticipates and refutes claims of his contemporaries who opposed him, believing in independent creation of species. Why is this so remarkable? Because they're the exact same claims these people are making today. Irreducible complexity. The absence of intermediate forms. Unnecessary body parts. I can't believe the Second Law of Thermodynamics doesn't show up. People are still making the same lame arguments that should have been resolved right here in the original text. Fascinating. My favorite part is Darwin's refutation of the concept of irreducible complexity, opening with his famous (and oft-misquoted) passage about the marvelous eye. He spends much of a chapter demolishing the half-baked arguments of a poor Mr. Mivart, who assembled all of the major objections to Darwin's ideas and thus is most ripe for a takedown. Mivart suffers from the same lack of imagination as most of today's evolutionary critics, claiming that "natural selection is incompetent to account for the incipient stages of useful structures," when of course it quite well is competent. Mivart falls into the same trap as the people who populate today's Discovery Institute, asking a bunch of lazy unintellectual rhetorical questions without really thinking about them. Darwin methodically dismissing all the notable objections to his theory is great, even if his ruminations on worker bees tend to the tedious at times.

This is a book far easier to admire than to read. I'd go for the Cliff Notes.


Dawkins, however, has the advantage of the intervening 150 years of discovery and modern technology, as well as his own gift for communicating difficult scientific ideas, and brings them to bear fully on The Greatest Show on Earth. This is a modern book aimed at a modern readership, and if it naturally doesn't have the same force of insight as Darwin, it's far more useful to someone interested in the subject. In particular, appearing after the synthesis of Darwin's theory of natural selection with modern genetics adds considerable clarity to Dawkins' arguments.

Dawkins is probably best known as the author of The God Delusion, the 2006 Atheist manifesto that inspired (and still does) my own outspoken atheism and elevated Dawkins to the status of one of my Intellectual Heroes along with Zakaria, Asimov, and others. Yet he consciously steers clear of most religion-bashing here:

This book is about the positive evidence that evolution is a fact. It is not intended as an anti-religiou book. I've done that, it's another t-shirt, this is not the place to wear it again.

Dawkins mostly sticks to this approach, though he does sharply criticize creationists, whom he refers to as "history-deniers." Note that, though the two camps overlap considerably, there are many people of faith who accept the fact of evolution.

With that understanding reached, Dawkins proceeds to artfully and logically lay out the formidable, air-tight case for evolution. He disposes with some creationist canards, notably:

- "If humans descended from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?
We didn't descend from monkeys. We have a common ancestor. Different. We share a common ancestor with, literally, every organism on earth.

- "I'll believe in evolution when I see a monkey give birth to a human baby."
You're a fucking idiot if you say this. Evolution takes place very, very slowly, over many generations.

- "The Second Law of Thermodynamics says that evolution is impossible."
The 2nd Law applies only to closed systems, which the Earth is not. Plus, evolution isn't the only example of order from disorder - look at crystalline materials or snowflakes. I hate when people try to use science they don't understand to disprove scientifically sound points.

To lay the groundwork for evolution, Dawkins first outlines the basic mechanics by which it works and carefully describes the timescales over which macroevolution operates. But in case that's too grand for some to understand, he provides several examples of evolution happening "right before our very eyes"; lizards off the coast of Croatia, guppies, and a set of incredibly elegant E. coli experiments by Michigan State biologist Richard Lenski. These to me are particularly compelling because of how easily they can be observed and understood. More than any other evidence, this seems to me compeltely irrefutable. I cannot even conceptualize of an alternate explanation for these short-time-span phenomena, and I'm glad Dawkins included them.

Next up: fossils. Evolution-deniers are fond of criticizing the fossil record - even though it's remarkably rich, they view any "gap" as positive evidence for creation or intelligent design. Dawkins asserts that the case for evolution is air-tight even without any fossils - the fact that we have so very many of them is a nice bonus. Dawkins spends several chapters describing the striking similarities between the bone structures of various mammals, particularly hands and skulls. I had no idea a bat wing was so similar to my own hand! To those who continue to claim inadequacies in the fossil record, Dawkins titles a sub-chapter on museums, simply, "Just go and look."

It's worth pointing out here that there are some tremendous color nature photographs in this book. For those like me who may have found Darwin a bit dry, a picture here and there livens things up considerably.

Dawkins crushes the inane notion of "intelligent design" (I will not capitalize the initial letters) with a chapter called "History written all over us." There are countless, countless examples of un-intelligent design present in all evolved organisms, relics of a time when they may have in fact proven useful. Dawkins explains that as bodies slowly evolved to their current forms, the marginal cost of a particular artifact was small, though over time they've reached a state where they're quite unnecessary and inconvenient, yet the "major upheaval" required to reach an optimal state is quite unlikely to take place. Easily the most memorable example of this is the male human reproductive system, which many of you have varying degrees of familiarity with. Basically, the balls used to be way up high in mammals, and the vas deferens, the tube that carries sperm to the penis, naturally led straight down to its target. Well, as you may have observed, the nuts are now located much further down. What you probably don't know is that the VD doesn't travel the short distance we might expect. Nope; during the evolutionary descent to their present path, the VD got hooked on the ureter, so it takes this ridiculous detour way the hell up and back down, like 10 times as far as it needs to go.

If there is an intelligent designer, he's an absolute moron.

Before summarizing his work, Dawkins spends some time describing "evolutionary arms races," The constant co-evolution of predator and prey by natural selection wherein the former develop increased faculties for killing their food and prey improve their odds of getting the hell away of predators. I wish I could say I was curious how id people try to explain these phenomena.


These books are both excellent in their own way, though Dawkins' is more readable and far more instructive. The sad part is that people who didn't believe in evolution before probably still won't. Those who deny evolution do so for reasons outside the realms of rational thought and evidence, and are such that no possible amount of facts and proof can change their mind. If someone is unwilling to join the reality-based community, as so many creationists are, it's impossible to argue a point logically. Every fact, no matter how rooted in the real world, can just be explained away as God's doing without any further thought. It's really quite frustrating. For the evolution/creation "conflict" (I use quote marks because there is no reasonable conflict) to ever be resolved, either the evolution people need to stop using reason and logic, or the creation side needs to embrace a natural worldview. Neither will happen overnight, but the side of reason is making gains every year thanks to books like these.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Underwear straitjacket

Somehow, despite even going to the trouble of trying them on, I accidentally purchased some boxer briefs the other day that don't have a fly to them. I suppose I should rephrase that - I bought them on purpose, but didn't know about the non-fly thing when doing so. I guess I just assumed they had an opening, inasmuch as I found them in the men's department and all. Why would a company even make boxers that don't open in the front? Even for athletics, a button or a fold-over resolves any issues you might have keeping everything in place. Weird. And I can't exactly return them, because I think that would be inappropriate. Well, at least the shirts I bought have neck holes.

Anti-quote of the day

"I submit to you that if a man has not discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

King said a lot of good things, but that's flat-out stupid. I can't think of anything I'm looking to die for, so what, kill myself then? Should each individual be put on trial, and if they can't come up with something worth dying for then we put them down? Um, no. I thought of this because it's posted on some bulletin board at work and I think it's both profoundly dumb and not at all appropriate for the work environment. But what do I know, not apparently being fit to live and all.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Quote of the day

"Have a doctor come and visit us...and tell us which one is sane."

- Jack White, "I'm Trying Harder to Be a Gentleman"


Have you, or have you not, wanted to say something similar at some point? Yes, you have.