Dreams

I had a weird dream the other night. This isn't ipso facto an unusual thing - you probably did too. Dreams - from the inexplicable geography, to the curious temporality, to the bizarre events - are weird things. But this time, I did something I'd never done while experiencing even the most off-the-wall subconscious brain waves of my career: I quit.

Honestly, I didn't know that this was an option. I've been through all sorts of rough stuff in dreams - being arrested, losing my car, making out with a girl and taking off her t-shirt only to discover that she had another identical t-shirt underneath, having a snake (a snake! a snake!) interfere with my batting in a baseball game - and always bore it up as well as I could. For some reason, I become amazingly credulous in my dreams, as occurrences that a skeptic like me wouldn't accept for two seconds in my conscious life suddenly seem entirely plausible. Of course I'm a Turkish DJ - why wouldn't I be? Once, a few years back, I realized during a dream that I wasn't experiencing an actual reality and woke up shortly thereafter, but I didn't know I could just say "no mas."

This time, I was getting out of a car. In classic dream fashion, it wasn't my car, nor even one I recognized. Also, I have no idea where I was. The car was, however, surrounded by (infested with, also?) bees. And flying debris - these small wood chips flying around as if I was in one of those money-grab wind booths, except the dirtiest one ever. And no matter how much I tried to shoo things away or get the bees out of my car, neither they nor these goddamn wood particles would go away. At some point, is occurred to me: fuck this. I think I even said it: "fuck this, I'm in a dream and I want out" and folded my arms. And I was awake.

Is this a breakthrough? Have I gained some grasp over my subconscious? I don't know, but I want to think I did. The true test will be the next time some strange days descend upon my subconscious mind - will I recognize it for what it is, or will I fall for it like I have so many other times? Alternatively, what if something really weird happens in my actual life (weird things happen to me a lot) and I mistakenly think it's a dream and try to extricate myself without success? We shall see.