The Ion

For almost a decade now, I've been driving the sweet ride you see depicted at right: a Saturn Ion. That's actually not mine, but mine looks exactly like that, so it will do.

Since picking up this hot rod in September 2003, I've tacked 125k miles on, many of them in marathon trips between Albany NY and Ohio, as well as Cleveland to Clarksburg WV. It's still going strong. I've had the occasional trouble with it - the fan, CD player, starter, and suspension have all experienced issues at times - but overall it's been fairly reliable, gets excellent fuel economy (right around 38 highway, measured personally by me, under optimal conditions), and transports me from one point to another.

On the other hand, it's kind of beaten up. For the past seven years, every time I put in a CD, I have to bang on the bulkhead to get it to spin right. I frankly cannot believe this trick still works. The heater fan only works on full blast (I had it fixed once - not very well, apparently). The suspension makes it sound like I'm driving over a never-ending field of speed bumps. And just in general, it has the worn-down feel of a car that is, well, worn down. I've found myself thinking that it would be nice to replace it with a new car. Have they been making new cars? I never see any adverts for them :) I kinda don't like this line of thinking, as I don't like the idea of wanting things I don't need, and it would be a significant expense, but it's hard to deny that it would be pleasant to have a nicer machine.

On the other hand, there's a certain freedom that comes with having an old car that you don't need to worry much about. I had a visitor to the house the other day - I asked him if he'd remembered to close the garage door, and he said yes, but he had actually stolen my car as well. I said, "good!" I don't have to expend any mental energy about something happening to my car, because: whatever. I've never taken that great of care of it - in the first couple of years my friends and I would throw footballs at the plastic door panels just because it was funny to watch the balls bounce off. It's never been detailed. I haven't bothered to fix the CD player or heater fan or, really, anything that didn't seem like a safety concern.

Another benefit of having an older automobile: no car payment. I haven't had to fork over any loot to own a car in five years, and at this point I think it would be hard to go to back to that arrangement. My Ion really isn't worth a whole lot right now - its main value is in the "free" miles I can squeeze out of it until it finally reaches the end of its lifetime. Why splurge on a new ride when I can run this guy into the ground and not have to pay for it?

Another factor: I'm not a car guy. I know how deeply car culture is embedded in America, and that's cool, but I really don't care. When I finally do have to get a new car, it will be a small, economical, unexciting one, and I will be 100% fine with that.

I feel like at this point, maybe I should get silly with the car, start festooning it with all sorts of bumper stickers and decorations. Why the hell not? I already got to the point where I decided the potential of vandalism wasn't a deterrent and put a Flying Spaghetti Monster metal icon on the car - may as well go all in and put all sorts of amusing paraphernalia on the car. I probably won't paint horror movie characters on it, but your results may vary.